Eye of the River by Jill Randall

Saturday, 28 March 2009


Do you ever get that feeling that you're not real, or that life's not real?  

Somedays I wonder whether I'm awake or in a dream.  That's because I'm a lucid dreamer -  a trick you are either born with, or you can learn.  A lucid dream is heralded by that moment in a dream when you think, hang on, I'm dreaming, I'm really asleep in my bed.  And that's when it gets interesting because if you are asleep in your bed, then you can enjoy, without guilt or fear, whatever is going on in the dream you have found yourself in.

But, somedays, when you suspect strongly that you are awake, you still can't shake that feeling that you are asleep, tucked away in a dream where anything is possible, the normal rules of physics don't apply.  

It's been like that for me lately.  I go for a walk down Church Street and it's like this dreamscape descends and I'm doing all those dream checks that lucid dreamers do. 

Am I wearing my day clothes or pyjamas?  Day clothes, thankfully. 

Is there something strange about  this place, something incongruous (a long dead auntie foxtrotting across the grass) ?  Well, no dead auntie, but it doesn't help that out of the corner of my eye I can see a room on the riverbank and if I try to look at it straight on, it disappears.  

Can I manipulate this environment?  I rummage in my pocket for a pen, some paper, scribble a note and stick it on the railings in a sort of X-marks the spot attempt at finding this spot on the pavement again. Does that count as manipulation? 

Am I dreaming?  I'm not sure yet.  Only time will tell.

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